Preparing to leave
When you're a female, going on vacation is an event. Your face needs to be in tip top shape, your hair needs a dye job and refresh and your toes need to be pretty. You’d think we were going on an island vacation where all these body parts would be on view for the world. Me? I’m going to Alaska where my newly “pretty in pink” toes will be hidden in soft wool socks, my gorgeous blue hair covered by either a Red Sox hat (i can proudly wear it since they are kicking ass and taking names) or sadly, a wintah hat and my face well, my face will be on full display.
I can’t wait to stand outside my room and scream at the top of my lungs “I can see Russia from my window”. A little 2008 election humor 
You’d think we were leaving for a month. Remember the whole onion thing? Yeah, well I take this shit seriously so i pretty much packed everything i own. Very unlike me. I usually don’t check a bag. 💼 Not only do we have our roller bags but a large suitcase; just shy of 50 pounds. Course, Bill is straight outta Vogue so between his manscaping paraphernalia and his best match outfits, the big suitcase is jammed packed. I’m praying to the suitcase gods for a safe delivery. All hail the ground crew. Let’s hope that does the trick.
The art shows were fabulous and lunch with my love made the craziness of packing worth all the stress!
Look 👀 how spooky I look getting my hair done! 💇♀️
Just as we are closing up the house in Lamoine, we find out that the modem has died so no phone and thus, no communication to the alarm company. Honestly, I can’t make this shit up. If something is going to happen before a major vacation, it’s gonna happen to the Vasquez family.
You are not going to believe this but Nathaniel to the rescue! Who’s Nathanial? The service guy who didn't care that he had to work late on a Friday. Bless his heart. ❤️ Had that been me? ⏰ Late on a Friday afternoon, I would most likely skipped this 🏠. All’s well and now that the crisis du jour is over, it’s time to think about packing. What’s the rush? We don’t leave until Monday.
Well Sherlock, the rush is ON like Donkey Kong trying to pack for weather that ranges from 80-30. Pack like an onion they say. Im going to look like the Michelin man with a skort. My top half will have a tank top, sun shirt, sweater and coat. The bottom half? Pretty much dressed for the beach! The onion 🧅 will start shedding by 9am!
You’d think we were leaving for a month. Remember the whole onion thing? Yeah, well I take this shit seriously so i pretty much packed everything i own. Very unlike me. I usually don’t check a bag. 💼 Not only do we have our roller bags but a large suitcase; just shy of 50 pounds. Course, Bill is straight outta Vogue so between his manscaping paraphernalia and his best match outfits, the big suitcase is jammed packed. I’m praying to the suitcase gods for a safe delivery. All hail the ground crew. Let’s hope that does the trick.
Time to have a pre-trip lunch in Bar Harbor.
The art shows were fabulous and lunch with my love made the craziness of packing worth all the stress!
It’s go time! I got up worked out, vacuumed, showered and out the door. Side note: husband is annoyed because wife cleans before a trip. Why? Husband asks. Wife shakes her head in disbelief. Seriously? You clean so that upon your return you have a clean space. Insert husband eye roll.
We get to Bangor International Airport and find more people than live in all of Bangor. I have never seen this particular airport this busy. Que in the song “🎶 summertime”. The line to get through security is quite long but we sail through TSA Pre. Well, that shit didn't set well with the folks waiting. Sucks to be you….
First, we see John Bolton awaiting a Delta flight to Laquardia. He’s delayed but looks like he’s otherwise engrossed with his laptop; probably writing a novel divulging all the government ugliness. And then, who do my 👀 eyes see? The cutest gate agent ever. Not gonna lie, she looks a bit stressed but still smiling. Enjoy an adult beverage after your shift-you deserve it! If you’re ever in Bangor and at an AA gate, say hey to Sarah!
Good news! Plane has arrived at the gate and get this! The crew is even present and accounted for-this rarely happens to the Vasquez family.
We’re taxiing AND on time. It’s a miracle! Child still madly unhappy. ☹️ Let’s just hope she doesn't lose her lunch on Bill. 😂.
“See” you in Chicago…”and all the Jazz”. Omg. I crack myself 🆙 Ok, on the tarmac and the words you dread the most “this is your captain 🧑✈️ speaking.” NOOOOOOOOOO i scream in my head-least i think it was silent. We have a 5 minute ground hold. Ok. I want to push my call button and ask the captain to pinky swear that it’s only a 5 minute delay.
We’re moving! Later.
Enjoy!! Hair looks great and so does your gate agent!
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